It's Vivi's birthday!  I have to say, there were times this year when I thought this day would never come!  I will never forget our first doctor visit with her.  She was four days old (although it felt like it had been an entire month, not just a mere four days!) and Chip and I both packed her up and went together.   It took everything we had to get out the door, and I felt about as fragile as Vivi looked in her newborn state.  As we were walking into the office, another mom walked out with her baby, who was much older than Vivi.  The mom looked amazing.  Her hair was perfect, she looked pulled together, her baby looked perfect, and what's more, both of them looked so happy (and rested!  what a miracle that must be!).  She stopped to let her baby peek at Vivi and they oohed and ahhed over my tiny, brand new bundle.  I asked how old hers was, and she was 12 months.  It was her one year visit, and seeing her made me feel better.  It gave me hope - hope that I would get rest one day, I would feel like myself again, that I would have a happy, chubby baby and we would make fun memories together.  Of course, once I went into the doctor visit, it was the worst two hours of my life when they told me Vivi had lost more weight and I was instantly overwhelmed with feelings of being a terrible mother after only being on the job for four days, and I cried the entire time.  I don't cry like that, and it made me feel even worse that I couldn't seem to control it.  It just didn't stop!  I couldn't get the picture out of my head, though, of the happy mama and baby we just saw, and I had to cling to that, knowing that we'd get through it.  Whew, those were some tough days and weeks!  But what great wonderfulness those days led to.  I am so thankful, and my cup runs over - so blessed to celebrate this day with the tiny bundle (who is now not so tiny any more!) that changed my life forever.  For the best.