(pictured above: girls outfits from rockets of awesome; Vivi's boots; Van Nus turban; wallpaper; Cloud Rug; Banana Print)

Lately, I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed.

And I'm always afraid to say that.  I think I'm afraid because firstly, I feel guilty.  I feel guilty because I know that I have so much.  I have three beautiful girls; my arms and my heart are full.  It's something I don't take lightly, and I am so incredibly grateful for these blessings.

I'm also afraid to say it because I feel like it means that I'm failing.  That I'm not doing it right; that I must be missing something.  I'm not organized enough, neat enough, on top of things enough, I don't discipline well enough, I'm not thoughtful enough, the list goes on and on.  I feel like I should look and act like I have it together; after all, as moms, aren't we supposed to have it together?

I don't know that I have ever really come out and said those words since having Vivi.  (I mean, I certainly went through a really tough time when she was a newborn, but everything was so new that I don't think I was able to understand what I was feeling.)  And I don't know that I have truly felt this way - or allowed myself to feel this way.

But I think it's ok.  As moms, we need help.  We need each other.  We need community.  We can't just plod on, thinking that if our act is convincing enough that things will really and truly come together and go smoothly.  A friend of mine once said "if you don't bring the darkness into the light, it will never go away."

And really, things are really good.  I just feel like a hot mess these days, and I think I'm maybe just having the growing pains of entering a new season of motherhood.  The questions are bigger, the hurts are getting deeper, the schedule is a little crazier (and I mean, let's be honest, my brain doesn't seem to function quite the same way after three kids!!!).  I feel like I'm being stretched in new ways, and it's an adjustment.

But in between the I-can't-catch-my-breath-because-of-all-the-questions-and-talking-or-needs-the-little-people-have moments, I know that this season is a gift.  There is so much good in the crazy.

And I find that the more I admit I feel a bit overwhelmed, the more I realize that I'm not the only one.  All of us as moms are carrying a lot on our plates.  It's a lot to know that these little people depend on us for so much.  So to all you other mamas out there feeling the same way - we've got this.  We're in this together, and I appreciate so much that you are on this journey with me.  No mom guilt!